"Ah - yes, of course," He said immediately, also coming to realise where
they were. He stood, stepping around the table to her side, placing a hand
on her shoulder as he offered her an arm. He knew she wasn't weak, at least
not physically, but - well. He liked contact when he was so low. So he
offered it in turn. "I know a place."
He was quiet for the most part as he led her to the abandoned tower. Well.
Sort of abandoned. Various people had used it, and Gavin himself had slept
there several nights, so it wasn't just pure rubble. It was warm, at least,
and there was even a lamp, that he lit when the entered.
"I don't have a room or anything, I'm afraid," He said, somewhat
sheepishly. "But I come here, sometimes. It's quiet, and when it rains you
don't get wet."
If Galadriel found the tower wanting, she didn't mention it. She followed after him, almost dazed with the sudden onslaught of grief, and regarded the interior of the tower with that same, distracted stare. The walls were open in places and it was high up; it didn't actually compare to Lorien, not in the slightest, but her sadness made the differences more distant than the similarities.
"It is quiet," she agreed idly and was silent for a long while as she stared out through the rubble at the sky. Night had settled in and the stars were visible through the clouds. If she paid any reasonable amount of attention to them, she would know they were not her own. She turned from them after a time and set her gaze on Gavin.
He was kind; she had appreciated his arm as much as his company and, now, she could barely muster a neutral expression. He did not deserve her sorrow but, unfortunately, it was all she had to grant him, at the moment.
Perhaps it wasn't all she could offer.
"I do not know if it is common among the Dalish, but among my people we are each given several names. My given names were Artanis and Nerwen, neither flattering, but both accurate enough," she said quietly. "A noble lady and a woman with manly prowess; I cared for neither."
She paused briefly and wrapped her arms around one another, drawing them against her torso.
"It was Celeborn who first called me Alatariel, as though I stood wreathed in stars." Her smile was mild. "I took that name and have carried it since the days of dawn, for years unnumbered...I did not expect to be without him so soon."
"His hair was fine as silver. Many claimed that, together, we were the very likeness of the two trees, gold and silver, glittering in light. I am sorry for your parents, but I saw too much and too little of my own fate in theirs."
It was difficult, watching her. It wasn't that her beauty dimmed as she spoke - far from it - but the sorrow seemed to envelop her, the light that seemed to dance in her eyes and hair and skin slowly giving into the night. She drew close around herself and his heart ached for her, but he didn't reach out.
Artanis. Nerwen. The words meant next to nothing, to him, though he could see why she did not prefer them. Galadriel was so beautiful, so graceful, compared.
"No, I am sorry," he said quietly - and he did finally reach out then, a hand on each arm, just above the elbow, pressing gently as she hugged herself. "I-- It was thoughtless of me. My loss can't possibly compare."
It wasn't hard to picture him. Celeborn. A match perfect for Galadriel, draped in silver rather than gold. He would be as beautiful as she was, he was sure. "I'm sure we - we'll find you a way home, somehow." He gripped her arms a little tighter. "I'll do absolutely everything in my power, and then more besides. I promise."
Galadriel didn't draw away from him, if anything she leaned into his embrace, but his oath was enough to stun her. She stared at him in silent shock for a moment and, despite his apologies and the warmth of his hands, she let out a sob of laughter. Her arms unfolded and she took his face between her hands. She held him in place as she bowed her forehead against his, even as tears slid down her cheeks.
"You cannot offer me this, my friend." Her hold was not as gentle as it could have been. There was something desperate in how she held his face, but she took great care not to hold him against his will.
"Thedas is no more empty than I deserve and returning would not restore my love to my side. I was always destined to lose him, as he was me, but I had not expected it to be so sudden...nor so soon."
His face turned red, but is was not out of shame or embarrassment, rather than a sudden willful pride. Yes he could. He would do anything for her, in that moment, if he could. It was an easy promise to make. So even though his skin was heated, his expression was set, his eyes didn't waver.
Even as she took his face in her hands. Even as she pressed her forehead to his. Even as he could feel the heat of her tears against her cheek. He took a breath, sharply, through his nose, and turned his head to press his lips to her cheek, for the sole purpose of smudging at least one of those tears away.
"I can offer you exactly how much I think you deserve," he said, his voice firm, if quiet. "Which apparently is more than you believe you do. I... Eventually for you, and eventually for me, are two very different things, and I-- I would not have you sacrifice a moment of your happiness, if I could help it."
His sincerity was moving and his lips against her cheek interrupted the trail of tears that tracked down her face. She knew without a doubt that he would try, with all he was, to keep his oath, to renew her happiness. For all this world lacked her family, her friends, and her heart, it was not all darkness.
Galadriel closed her eyes for a moment and, before she could consider another course, or focus on the grief that lingered in her heart, she pressed a kiss against his lips.
"You are too kind, Gavin," Galadriel admonished but didn't draw away.
Despite how close he'd been, he hadn't expected it - hadn't even thought about it. How could he have expected it, in the wake of her grief for a home - for a husband - that was immortal? For a love that had begun long before he was born, and would linger long after he was dead?
So when her lips pressed against his, he could do nothing but mutely accept it, the surprise making his heart kick once, forcefully, like a horse against his chest. All at once he was aware of her - really aware. Aware of her fingers pressed against his jaw, of the heat of her breath against his lips, of the slight flutter of muscle in her arm under his own hands, of the brush of her long, golden hair against his finger tips, against his cheek.
She was beauty itself, but for possibly the first time he had met her, she was real. Solid, and present - flesh and blood and bone the same as he was.
So beautiful, and so sad, and so lonely.
The pause only lasted a heart beat, maybe two, though it felt like an eternity. And then, without a word, he leaned in to take a gentle, careful kiss.
Touch was a strange and quiet thing, her heart craved it as keenly as it craved anything, and when Gavin kissed her in return the pang of longing she felt was strong enough to steal her breath. Her hands shifted, one moved to his shoulder and drew him closer, the other cradled his cheek.
He could not have been less like Celeborn; they were so different, in every possible way, that there could be only the most strained comparison, and perhaps that was best. She could not confuse them, not for the barest moment, and there was some appeal in that. If she focused on Gavin, generous and dear as he was, she could keep herself in the present and let her sorrows fall away.
It was not long before Galadriel tilted her head and parted his lips with her own. His face was warm beneath her hand and she could not say if it was his breath or her own that had grown ragged as they stood there. In either case, her desire for touch was far too great to be so easily met, and she was wary of drawing away, even a hair's breadth, lest he suddenly be overwhelmed and cast her out.
The silence was the most telling thing. Though perhaps it wasn't silent at all - perhaps the world outside was exploding with fire - and his pulse was simply so loud that it drowned it out.
It wasn't that he hadn't held someone for comfort before. He had. Many times. But this wound was so deep that he had no idea, really, how to help. He knew it wasn't him, not really, that she wanted, and he also knew it didn't matter. All that was important was that he wanted to help, and that he would give her anything and everything that he could. His lips parted as they were bade, and there was a stillness - not a hesitance, just a stillness - before he leaned into the kiss and deepened it.
His hand moved as if by its own volition - sliding from her arm down to settle at her side, just above her hip, pulling her closer to him.
Whatever spell there was in stillness, in the gentle pressure of his mouth against hers and the taste of another person, the hand at her waist was enough to break it. She was more than reluctant to release him--it was and emotion near enough to call it fear--but for as selfish as she could be, she was not this. It was a feat of monumental will, but she parted their lips and, with excruciating gentleness, traced her fingers to his chin.
"You are too kind," Galadriel repeated and a watery smile turned her lips. She made no move to back away, nor to shift his hand from her waist. "I would not exploit you in such a way, mellon nin. That is a wound I would not inflict, not for all my sorrow."
These elves were mortal; what they lacked in the gifts of the Eldar they made up for with the strength of men. To do this, to use him as she desperately wanted, would have been a deep wound to the heart of any immortal elf. She had seen such injuries and the aftermath, she knew the pain they caused. Even if he was utterly mortal, if he risked nothing, she couldn't bring him harm.
Only a few minutes ago he had been afraid to touch her, consumed by blushing at her beauty. She had dazzled him and now she took advantage.
"I am poor company, but please, stay with me a while if you will."
He finally let himself breathe, properly, his eyes opening to find hers.
His skin was still hot, but not nearly as much as it had been a few minutes
ago, the flush fading even as his resolution grew.
"You aren't exploiting me," He said after a moment, his voice low and
careful. If he was nervous, he managed to shove it down so far that none of
it showed on his face, or could be heard in his voice. "My Lady--
Galadriel-- If all I can offer is comfort then I offer it, gladly.
Of course I will stay, but-- there is no wound I could possibly take, for
doing all in my power to comfort you. I know what I'm not. And I wouldn't
never impose- I don't wish you to think that I would, I just--" He was
stumbling over his words, because he couldn't express himself properly.
He took a breath, let it out again, and met her gaze.
Galadriel peered at Gavin silently, but found no duplicity in him. Her expression was already too open to soften at his insistence, but her smile was less watery in the wake of his words. He offered her comfort freely, he was not being bent to her will, and she was sorely tempted to take what he would give her...but some of his words snagged and Galadriel found herself drawn to them before all else.
"You know what you are not?" H did not wish her to think he was taking advantage, nor that he would demand physicality if she did not want for it, but that sentence was out of place. "What are you not?"
The flush returned - not fully - just warming his ears, despite his desire
to keep stoic. He offered her a sad smile and reached up - pausing - before
gently brushing a few strands of golden hair from her face.
"I'm not your husband, or your home, or anything of the things that your
heart is actually longing for," He said, trying not to be completely
embarassed and failing slightly. "I'm not a - I'm not a replacement, and
I'm not even really a desire." He hesitated there, trying to find the words
that were coming harder now. "What I am, I hope, is your friend," he
finally got out, his voice almost a whisper, but steady and sure despite
that. "And a friend that can be of use to you, even when it seems to be so
dark."
"Gavín," Galadriel's smile faltered with fondness and her weary heart clenched in her chest. She took his face, carefully, in both of her hands and smoothed her thumbs across the sweeping rise of his cheekbones. Her pale skin looked impossible and delicate against his own, like she was just some lingering specter, waiting to burst apart ere the wind whistled through the keep too strongly. Perhaps she was.
"I would not imagine, for even a moment, that you were anyone but yourself," she assured him quietly and tried not to let her gaze linger on her own hands. "I do long for these things, I will not deny it, but in this moment...in this grief, it is you that I reach for."
"You are my friend and dear to me, even if you are not convinced of it. I beg you, do not mistake my sorrow for disregard."
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
"Ah - yes, of course," He said immediately, also coming to realise where they were. He stood, stepping around the table to her side, placing a hand on her shoulder as he offered her an arm. He knew she wasn't weak, at least not physically, but - well. He liked contact when he was so low. So he offered it in turn. "I know a place."
He was quiet for the most part as he led her to the abandoned tower. Well. Sort of abandoned. Various people had used it, and Gavin himself had slept there several nights, so it wasn't just pure rubble. It was warm, at least, and there was even a lamp, that he lit when the entered.
"I don't have a room or anything, I'm afraid," He said, somewhat sheepishly. "But I come here, sometimes. It's quiet, and when it rains you don't get wet."
no subject
"It is quiet," she agreed idly and was silent for a long while as she stared out through the rubble at the sky. Night had settled in and the stars were visible through the clouds. If she paid any reasonable amount of attention to them, she would know they were not her own. She turned from them after a time and set her gaze on Gavin.
He was kind; she had appreciated his arm as much as his company and, now, she could barely muster a neutral expression. He did not deserve her sorrow but, unfortunately, it was all she had to grant him, at the moment.
Perhaps it wasn't all she could offer.
"I do not know if it is common among the Dalish, but among my people we are each given several names. My given names were Artanis and Nerwen, neither flattering, but both accurate enough," she said quietly. "A noble lady and a woman with manly prowess; I cared for neither."
She paused briefly and wrapped her arms around one another, drawing them against her torso.
"It was Celeborn who first called me Alatariel, as though I stood wreathed in stars." Her smile was mild. "I took that name and have carried it since the days of dawn, for years unnumbered...I did not expect to be without him so soon."
"His hair was fine as silver. Many claimed that, together, we were the very likeness of the two trees, gold and silver, glittering in light. I am sorry for your parents, but I saw too much and too little of my own fate in theirs."
no subject
Artanis. Nerwen. The words meant next to nothing, to him, though he could see why she did not prefer them. Galadriel was so beautiful, so graceful, compared.
"No, I am sorry," he said quietly - and he did finally reach out then, a hand on each arm, just above the elbow, pressing gently as she hugged herself. "I-- It was thoughtless of me. My loss can't possibly compare."
It wasn't hard to picture him. Celeborn. A match perfect for Galadriel, draped in silver rather than gold. He would be as beautiful as she was, he was sure. "I'm sure we - we'll find you a way home, somehow." He gripped her arms a little tighter. "I'll do absolutely everything in my power, and then more besides. I promise."
no subject
"You cannot offer me this, my friend." Her hold was not as gentle as it could have been. There was something desperate in how she held his face, but she took great care not to hold him against his will.
"Thedas is no more empty than I deserve and returning would not restore my love to my side. I was always destined to lose him, as he was me, but I had not expected it to be so sudden...nor so soon."
no subject
His face turned red, but is was not out of shame or embarrassment, rather than a sudden willful pride. Yes he could. He would do anything for her, in that moment, if he could. It was an easy promise to make. So even though his skin was heated, his expression was set, his eyes didn't waver.
Even as she took his face in her hands. Even as she pressed her forehead to his. Even as he could feel the heat of her tears against her cheek. He took a breath, sharply, through his nose, and turned his head to press his lips to her cheek, for the sole purpose of smudging at least one of those tears away.
"I can offer you exactly how much I think you deserve," he said, his voice firm, if quiet. "Which apparently is more than you believe you do. I... Eventually for you, and eventually for me, are two very different things, and I-- I would not have you sacrifice a moment of your happiness, if I could help it."
no subject
Galadriel closed her eyes for a moment and, before she could consider another course, or focus on the grief that lingered in her heart, she pressed a kiss against his lips.
"You are too kind, Gavin," Galadriel admonished but didn't draw away.
no subject
So when her lips pressed against his, he could do nothing but mutely accept it, the surprise making his heart kick once, forcefully, like a horse against his chest. All at once he was aware of her - really aware. Aware of her fingers pressed against his jaw, of the heat of her breath against his lips, of the slight flutter of muscle in her arm under his own hands, of the brush of her long, golden hair against his finger tips, against his cheek.
She was beauty itself, but for possibly the first time he had met her, she was real. Solid, and present - flesh and blood and bone the same as he was.
So beautiful, and so sad, and so lonely.
The pause only lasted a heart beat, maybe two, though it felt like an eternity. And then, without a word, he leaned in to take a gentle, careful kiss.
no subject
He could not have been less like Celeborn; they were so different, in every possible way, that there could be only the most strained comparison, and perhaps that was best. She could not confuse them, not for the barest moment, and there was some appeal in that. If she focused on Gavin, generous and dear as he was, she could keep herself in the present and let her sorrows fall away.
It was not long before Galadriel tilted her head and parted his lips with her own. His face was warm beneath her hand and she could not say if it was his breath or her own that had grown ragged as they stood there. In either case, her desire for touch was far too great to be so easily met, and she was wary of drawing away, even a hair's breadth, lest he suddenly be overwhelmed and cast her out.
no subject
It wasn't that he hadn't held someone for comfort before. He had. Many times. But this wound was so deep that he had no idea, really, how to help. He knew it wasn't him, not really, that she wanted, and he also knew it didn't matter. All that was important was that he wanted to help, and that he would give her anything and everything that he could. His lips parted as they were bade, and there was a stillness - not a hesitance, just a stillness - before he leaned into the kiss and deepened it.
His hand moved as if by its own volition - sliding from her arm down to settle at her side, just above her hip, pulling her closer to him.
no subject
"You are too kind," Galadriel repeated and a watery smile turned her lips. She made no move to back away, nor to shift his hand from her waist. "I would not exploit you in such a way, mellon nin. That is a wound I would not inflict, not for all my sorrow."
These elves were mortal; what they lacked in the gifts of the Eldar they made up for with the strength of men. To do this, to use him as she desperately wanted, would have been a deep wound to the heart of any immortal elf. She had seen such injuries and the aftermath, she knew the pain they caused. Even if he was utterly mortal, if he risked nothing, she couldn't bring him harm.
Only a few minutes ago he had been afraid to touch her, consumed by blushing at her beauty. She had dazzled him and now she took advantage.
"I am poor company, but please, stay with me a while if you will."
no subject
He finally let himself breathe, properly, his eyes opening to find hers. His skin was still hot, but not nearly as much as it had been a few minutes ago, the flush fading even as his resolution grew.
"You aren't exploiting me," He said after a moment, his voice low and careful. If he was nervous, he managed to shove it down so far that none of it showed on his face, or could be heard in his voice. "My Lady-- Galadriel-- If all I can offer is comfort then I offer it, gladly. Of course I will stay, but-- there is no wound I could possibly take, for doing all in my power to comfort you. I know what I'm not. And I wouldn't never impose- I don't wish you to think that I would, I just--" He was stumbling over his words, because he couldn't express himself properly.
He took a breath, let it out again, and met her gaze.
"... Whatever you need, I am here."
no subject
"You know what you are not?" H did not wish her to think he was taking advantage, nor that he would demand physicality if she did not want for it, but that sentence was out of place. "What are you not?"
no subject
The flush returned - not fully - just warming his ears, despite his desire to keep stoic. He offered her a sad smile and reached up - pausing - before gently brushing a few strands of golden hair from her face.
"I'm not your husband, or your home, or anything of the things that your heart is actually longing for," He said, trying not to be completely embarassed and failing slightly. "I'm not a - I'm not a replacement, and I'm not even really a desire." He hesitated there, trying to find the words that were coming harder now. "What I am, I hope, is your friend," he finally got out, his voice almost a whisper, but steady and sure despite that. "And a friend that can be of use to you, even when it seems to be so dark."
no subject
"I would not imagine, for even a moment, that you were anyone but yourself," she assured him quietly and tried not to let her gaze linger on her own hands. "I do long for these things, I will not deny it, but in this moment...in this grief, it is you that I reach for."
"You are my friend and dear to me, even if you are not convinced of it. I beg you, do not mistake my sorrow for disregard."