IC INBOX for FADE RIFT

[slipshot]

 

Gavin has a little box stuffed full of notes. Feel free to stuff one in there, if you like, or come say hi.

 

The notes may just be all doodles. 

just saying.

 

Comments

[slipshot]

Can't you work on research, and still stay with the clan?

[mythalenaste]

How, Gavin? You know what our days are like. I can't...I can't be doing my chores, then helping around the camp, then...every moment was full, during my days with the clan. Maybe you didn't see that. It's just how it is, as First. I could never have two major life callings. And if I go back, even if I'm not First, or Second, it's what my body will try to do anyway. Give my time to everyone else. I would never have time or resources to read and write and travel. And it's the human cities that have the libraries anyway.

[slipshot]

Right. [There's a longer pause. Sure, she apologized, but it's really hard hearing this from her, after everything.]

Well I'm not going to stop you from doing what you want to do, Pel. I'm the last person who would do that.

[mythalenaste]

It's not...it's not just what I want to do, Gavin. You see that, right? Recovering our history, really recovering it. It would help all the People of the world, not just Ashara. This is important.

[She somehow can't bear to think that a single member of her clan will resent her for this. It could mean she is wrong to leave.]

[slipshot]

Pel, I'll be completely honest with you. Our history, until this point - we just use it as a way to keep the world separate. I don't see how that would change. All it does it pull up old grudges and old hatreds.

[mythalenaste]

Our history was the first thing destroyed by both Tevinter and Orlais. Because it makes us seem like people. If we reclaim it, in the face of the world, they won't be able to deny we're people anymore.

[slipshot]

[He feels too uncomfortable to argue about it, so he just makes a small non-commital noise.]

So you're not actually doing this for yourself. You're doing it for everyone else, just like you would be if you were going to stay the First. Is that about it?

[mythalenaste]

[There's a long pause. Because that stings, and it makes her angry. That he's using this, her calling, the thing she loves, to hurt her. And can she blame him? She used to hurt him the same way.]

Don't say we're going to be friends and then say things like that, Gavin.

[slipshot]

I just - I don't understand. If you want to do it, for you, then say that, Pel. Don't - don't make it sound like a sacrifice, when it's not. If it's what you want, I can respect that. If it will make you happy, that's all that matters.

If you're doing it for everyone else, and not yourself... then it's not really any better.

[mythalenaste]

[That's what he means. He wants to make sure she's happy. Did he know, before she knew? She knew she'd been made to never consider herself, only others, but had he been the first to know it was wrong?

She takes a deep breath, in and out.]

Yes. I want this. I love it. I love it so much, it doesn't feel like work at all. Like a...challenging game, really. I just...never could justify anything just because I loved it. Deheune was never satisfied if I said I wanted it. It always had to be for somebody else. I had to...learn how to ask for something I wanted by saying it would benefit someone else. It's a Keeper's life.

[slipshot]

Then I wish you all the luck I can, Pel. And I hope you never lose your love of it.

[mythalenaste]

[Is that a good enough reason to want something? Wanting it? The next breath she releases shakes.]

Thank you. That means more than I can...thank you.

[slipshot]

It's alright. [There's a small pause.] I'm a bit... shocked, I'll admit, but I'm... proud of you.

[mythalenaste]

[She wants to tell him not to be. Just like she squirmed when he loved her freckles. Parts of herself she has declared unlovable, or useless, seem to get complimented the most. Maybe she should learn from that.]

Are you happier? Than you were?

[slipshot]

Of course. [It's a little too fast. A little too instant.]

It's not... as if you'll always be happy, that's not how life works. But on the whole, yes, I am happier.

[mythalenaste]

Then...everything that's happened between us, it happened for a reason. Reasons. Good ones. And I can't regret that, nor blame you. Not if it was Her will.

[There's only one entity she speaks of with a capitalized Her: Mythal.]