slipshot | IC INBOX for FADE RIFT

"I never said I didn't want you, Gavin," he replied softly, slowly lowering the charm back to Gavin's palm. "I-- I wasn't sure you wanted me. Not as I am. Not-- the way I wanted you."

He looked down at the charm and took a breath before meeting Gavin's eyes again. He might have been standing there naked, for the way that look tore at him. For as vulnerable as he felt.

"When I heard about you and Zevran kissing, I wasn't sure what it meant, as to me it's something special. And then you insisted on calling me a friend, when I know you call him the same, I thought that was your way of telling me that you wanted him too."

"Zevran is my friend," he murmured, finally raising his eyes to meet Maxwell's. "But it wasn't - we were wrestling, Maxwell, that was all. I kissed him because I was fond, not--"

He faltered, fingers curling to grasp the star tightly in his palm.

"Not because I want him like I want you. I care about him, I care about all my friends, but I - but I love you, Maxwell. I didn't realise you didn't know that."

Maxwell went still, eyes widening, searching Gavin's as his words hung between them. His heart thumped so hard against his ribs, he thought they might and it would leap free and be laid bare.

"I didn't," he whispered. "But I hoped..."

He took a step closer, reached gently to find Gavin's free hand and take it in his own. His fingers trembling as they wrapped around his.

"Because I love you. I have, for a long time."

It was something that he already knew - something that, unlike Maxwell, perhaps even took for granted. He had felt it, nearly every day since they'd been reunited. He hadn't really thought the words themselves would matter.

He was wrong.

His heart thumped, hard, restarting with a sudden rush after it had refused to beat, tightening his throat, a heat behind his eyes.

"... Yeah, I know." The words are very quietly, his fingers not trembling, exactly, but cautious as they threaded into Maxwell's. "... I guess I probably should have mentioned it before."

His eyebrows twitched, raising slightly, and he made a small sound, not quite a laugh.

"I might not have been as foolish," he murmured, "but it's not as if I said it either."

That made a slight flush rise to his cheeks and he glanced away, but his hand was still folded in Maxwell's.

"I just - I don't know. I thought you would probably grow out of it," he admitted. "I thought you would come to your senses and go 'what was I thinking', and I... I don't know." His ears twitched, then drooped.

"I thought that was what happened."

The touch of humor vanished, Maxwell's expression sobering again, his fingers shifting slightly between Gavin's and squeezing gently.

"For four years, I hoped I would find you again, and as difficult and terrible as the word has gotten, this time now, with you, has been the best time of my life. For the first time, I feel like I have something. To look forward to, to--" His breath caught, voice rumbling in his throat. "You've made my life better, Gavin. Just by being in it."

The flush spread, his ears now a deep red, but he managed to look up and meet Maxwell's eyes at least.

"No pressure," He murmured, trying to offer him a smile, but the joke fell flat. He was all too aware of the pressure, now. Of just how hurt Maxwell would be, if he managed to break Galadriel out --

"I hope that stays true."

He started to smile, tried to, but as he looked down in Gavin's face, he could see that there was still something... Something Gavin wasn't saying, something upsetting him.

"If you need time..." His shoulders lifted, trying to seem casual. Like he hadn't laid his heart out. "You can take it. ...You know how to find me."

"No that's - Not it. I just... I don't want to disappoint you, Maxwell, but I can't just... I can't just let Galadriel's imprisonment rest. You understand, don't you?"

He wasn't at all sure that Maxwell would, there was a plea in that question more than a confirmation.

"I don't want you to be hurt, but I - this is something I need to do."

It wasn't quite relief that he felt, the worry simply transferred.

"I don't distrust your opinion, Gavin, and I agree, I think the Inquisition should be more open about this, but she said something to convince the Seeker that she is honestly dangerous. I saw it in her eyes. She believes it." He lifted their joined hands and wrapped his free one around them both, cupping Gavin's between his palms. "Promise me you won't do anything rash."

"She is incredibly powerful," He agreed in a quiet awe, "But locking her up isn't going to make her help us. Isn't going to show why she should care what happens to us. But I - I'll be careful. I promise."

For a relative amount of careful.

It wasn't as comforting as he'd hoped it would be, but there was little more he could do. And it wasn't as if he entirely disagreed with him.... He brought his knuckles to his lips, brushing a light, quick kiss against them, before slowly releasing him.

"Thank you."

His skin prickled, watching Maxwell kiss his hand, and he met his eyes with what could only be described as a sad puppy dog look.

"... could I have a kiss, at least?" He whispered quietly.

There at last, his mouth curled in the gentle beginnings of a smile.

"You don't have to ask, Gavin."

That time, he took Gavin's jaw, fingertips brushing over his chin, gripping enough to lift him up even as he was ducking down to bring their lips together. Gentle to start, but firming as his heart kicked, and hope and joy and love spread through him, tingling up the length of his spine.

IC INBOX for FADE RIFT

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